Readers Would Know…

…that I am an ever changing person. Things do not stay the same for me. The come and go with the flight of a bird. Concepts, ideas, and dreams change and alter themselves with the passing days and years. It as been some of the most intensely beautiful things that has happened to me over the last half decade. And more, much more is yet to come in the time that will be allowed for me upon this Earth. The amazing thing about change is how much, or how little I have to do to change. Some parts of me require much effort and will, while other parts of me change as though a night sky fairy came and waved her magic wand upon as I slept. I don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow, what will be tomorrow, I just know that I have come to accept the transient world that I live in. So, what will my readers know about me? I will be a slight different person on each passing day however blunt or subtle. One thing I will say though, there is a smile behind my words, and may that never change.

Who I Am and Why I Am Here

I continue my on and off journey of writing here with Writing 101.
I am Kathryn, and I am here to find a part of my voice that speaks
in written word. I want to learn the parts of me that are funny,
serious, compassionate, forgiving, creative, and so much more. I
am here to break a barrier within myself that has kept the me that
I do not know from coming out of the me that I “thought” I knew.
But mostly, I am here to have fun and laugh. Greetings.

Beyond


 

Love is the substance that binds everything in existence

It is above all senses

It can’t be seen or touched, it is odorless, tasteless, and without sound

Magically, I can see it in the sky

Can hear it in the ocean

Smell it in the mountains

Taste it in my fruit

Feel it in my skin

It is what makes me yearn and reach out beyond life

My heart grows arms and lifts them to eternity in its yearning to find the depths of where love comes from

The brown feathered white bellied hawk stands searched upon a light post in midmorning facing the full warm sun

The tree with intertwining twisting arms hug each other aiming to rise towards the zenith of our sphere

The ocean inches from the cliffs crashes its waves continuously into the shore rising and falling, drifting back into itself

It touches the heart and core off every being that was birthed out of love

It is the mother, the father, the brother, the sister

It is the friend, the foe, the neighbor, and stranger

We all seek with the unyielding desire to merge with the substance that we are

I will burn in my center, ache in my heart, laugh with joy, cry with tears in hopes that it’s gravity pulls my whole being into its center

And I become what I seek


 

Reflection of an Onion

sunset 2

In the midst of the chaos of my mind, I took a look at a yellow onion.  My mind stopped and I saw the world.  The onion was covered in the shredded and torn brown paper that once protected it.  It was the Earth covered in thick debris causing layers of harm to the inner layers of our planet.  I peeled away the outer paper.  Underneath was a layer of onion rotten with dark spots and torn skin.  It was the Earth bruised by the torture inflicted upon her by us.  I peeled away that layer of skin.  And still, small brown rotted spots of skin.  It was the Earth penetrated by constant bombardment of abuse and neglect- our lack of care for her.  I peeled away another layer of skin.  It was shining, beautiful and perfect.  After I peeled away the rot, I noticed a bright green sprout that was growing out the top of the onion.  It was the Earth in harmony, in active creation.  She was healthy and giving birth to new life.

When we are in disharmony, we pollute our planet and she becomes sick.  It is a reflection of our own state of being.  In harmony she can thrive at her best potential which serves for us to be at our best potential.  Only in unity can we peel away the infected layers and unveil the beauty and stimulate healthy growth and creation.  We are the Earth.  In loving Her, we love Ourselves.

Where am I?

I am in a spaceship.  It has the appearance of a hotel lobby.  The walls are a slightly off white color lined with a few green potted plants that sat on the floor.  The room is decorated with lion brown rectangular shaped sofa with a chair to match.  The overall decor was simpler than that of a hotel lobby, the space feels colder as I guess what a spaceship would feel like.  Facing the bow of the ship, the ride side was completed covered with glass windows and doors that went from ceiling to floor.  The view was abundant.

The sensation of time and space was non-existent; everything seemed to stand still.  I could not feel any such descent ascent, or turbulence.  The outside view is quite amazing- bold blue, true blue.  It is a reflection of the sense of motionless time and space- images, indications of movement through space fabric were absent.

All of a sudden I was out in the world with a blink of an eye.  Awww, it feels like the magical world of Fantasia.  The colors are bold, vivid, and deep.   Shades of blue in what appeared to be an endless sky layered each other merging with the vast ocean that covered the entire floor of eternity.  The waves of the ocean gracefully move large and wide in slow motion.  Large brown bridges with decks on its ends stand high above the ocean.  Bubbles of various sizes float around the bridges and decks, transparent bubble-like disks float from one deck to another acting as an organized flow of transportation if you will.

I am looking around at everything, the spectacular presence I am in, and I can feel I am in a dimension I cannot explain.  The mechanics are beyond that of Earth, beyond my usual perception and comprehension.  I am standing on pure emptiness realizing the decks and bridges are quite a distance from me.  I look down into the ocean and see creatures swimming around- they are not familiar.  A black creature somewhat similar to a whale but much larger and bulkier swims through the waves.  Its body bobs in and out of the water as it swims along.  I have a view of its back and the right side of its body.  I become frightened of it; it looks really scary to me.  I am still standing on emptiness, but I am closer above the ocean.  I am strongly afraid it is going to kill me, and fear runs through my whole body.  At this moment being afraid of it, I knew it was not going to kill me.  It was a friendly being.  The realization of its harmlessness came from a different me; it is simultaneous with the fear that is in my body.  The upper part of its body came out of the water and I see a profile of its face- the eyes were large and white with small black pupils- they were smiling.  The creature looks at me then disappears back into the ocean.

In a flash of an instant I was standing on a deck.  I watch the transparent disks float back and forth.  I wait for one.  I look down into the ocean and perception of depth runs through my body.  The ocean is deep an endless continuum simultaneously feeling unreal like an artistic creation of illusion.  A great fear came over me and I though if I fall I am going to die.  The ocean got deeper and deeper, the fear grew stronger and stronger.  Piercing deeper into the depths, I attain a direct knowing: I cannot die, death is an illusion, there isn’t anything that can kill me.  I step onto a disk and float around for a short while, then instantly I am back inside the ship.

Behind the glass windows and doors on the outer part of the ship was a large deck and a n=man standing on it looking abut and observing.  I go out to join him and tell him we are going to leave soon.    We both come inside, but continued to look into blue space.  Again, no sense of movement; we appeared to be standing still.  All this time the space outside had been blue, and now it changes.  It flashes to yellow, next orange, then green.  “We are here” I said.  I don’t know how I know, I just know- we were back at Earth.

The scene changes dramatically.  From the flashes of colors in space to Earth tone browns, high mountains, trees and shrubs.  The horizon gave distinction between the land and the sky.  I became alerted after delay of noticing where I was, and I thought to myself “where are we?”.  I know this is Earth, but what am I traveling in?  I am no longer in the spaceship.  The inside of the vehicle is arranged like a car- the seats, the windows, front and rear wind shields fit the feeling of a car perfectly.  However, the vehicle was going much faster than a car could, and we are traveling above the ground.  I am dumbfounded at how we transitioned from the large ship to the small ship right before our eyes without any signs of the transition.  “Where is the ship?” I say to someone.  A person points towards the back, so I turn around to see the gigantic grey disk shaped spaceship hovering in mid air.

This was a fantastic experience I had not too long ago.  I’d like to tell myself it was all just a dream I had, then I began to question, was it?

 

Happy Salad

I remember one evening going out to dinner with my which included my mother, two sisters, my aunt, and her boyfriend to a restaurant that I had never been to before.  It was in the neighborhood a few blocks away.  Being about ten years old, it seemed like fine dining to me.  The restaurant was lit just perfectly -not too light like a fast food joint, but not to dark like a place for romance.  The table setting had the plates, silver wear, the water cups, butter, and all the things one would see in a “nice wait to be seated” dining-in eatery.  The first part of the meal, the salads and appetizers came around.  I was not much for salad as a kid, but for some odd reason I was into it that night.  I do not remember for the life of me what was for the main course, what I had to drink besides water, or what people around me were saying and doing.  Some how I can remember finding a new love that very evening: Russian Salad Dressing.  OMG, the color was a deeper shade of red, and the flavor felt more lavish, sophisticated, or grown up if you will.  My norm for salad dressing would be the Thousand Island dressing because that’s what tasted really good to me.  What inspired me to try that particular one I cannot say.  It may have been the only option at the table, it may have been the color, I could not say even to this day.  The flavor burst in my mouth and I was in love with the Russian Dressing.  After that I became obsessed with hoping that my mother would by it when we went to do our grocery shopping.  I thought about that dressing a lot.  It was such a beautiful thing to me.